Respect the child

Respect the child.

No matter how cranky she gets, respect the child.

If she had only 5 spoons of rice for dinner, still, respect the child. She could have chosen not to have even 5 spoons and become more cranky and in turn disturb the mother. Always remember to respect the child.

When one is aware that the child is a physical form of divine soul that has taken life with some goals in mind, one is bound to respect the child.

When there is respect, you are inclined towards hearing your child. Every child wants to be heard. Just because child cannot communicate in the same way adults do, do not underestimate her ability to perceive things, do not yell at the child. Every thing you do to her, every single aspect of your behaviour is well registered in your child's brain and will some time be shown in her personality development.

First, assure her that you are always there to hear her needs. Next, get down to her level of seeing things, her level of talking and her level of understanding. Change the tone of your voice accordingly. Talk slowly, repeat telling the same in various voice modulations until your intent is conveyed to the child. She is sure to understand what you wanted to convey.

Here in this post I list further posts on parenting based on my experience. I inculcate the no-yelling no-spanking blissful and respectful parenting and encourage others to try experimenting in their journey of parenthood. It is sure to bear fruitful results in shaping of your child's personality.

Remember, I am not a professional early childhood expert. But, I love perceiving things in the way my child does and I think this is the reason behind my blissful parenting experience. I become a child when with my child. I talk in various rhythmic tones that catch the attention of my child. I respect her. I hear her out. I satisfy her needs be it water, food, games, play in an organised manner.

She does throw tantrums but I believe there's always a positively pleasant way to deal with everything in life. You can read more on specific topics on parenting in the list below:

(This post will regularly be updated and always pinned to the top of this page)

1. Live the Moment
2. Dealing with a stressed out toddler
3. Best or worst moment- Realise your love
4. A Child's Miracle
5. Just Let Them Be
6. The BIG Bank of Child's Brain
7. Children and their teeny happiness
8. Interacting with a child
9. Play with a child
10. Feeding the child
11. Kids and their power of learning
12. Human values in daily life
13. Family - the way you see it
14. How to handle toddler's tantrums?
15. Shaping of a child's persona
16. Teaching your child how to eat
17. The art of parenting
18. Bonding with your child
19. Being Responsible vs Controlling
20. Are you teaching or controlling your child?
21. Children and mess - Is it really a mess?
22. Follow your child's lead
23. Dealing with sick child - All you need is love
24. Conscious Parenting
25. Parent vs Child - Conflicting needs
26. Parent vs Child - Sleep Time
27. Play and Mess around - What is your role?
28. Time - kids vs adults
29. Another busy day when child needs parent's warmth
30. Toddler behaviour - screech and scream
31. Conveying your message to toddler
32. How does parent's reaction matter?
33. Explaining our intention to a toddler
34. Try to understand your child's intention
35. Toddler: Feelings and Emotions
36. Handling Toddler's Momentary Mood
37. Learning while messing around
38. 2 year old - changing views
39. You should not because...
40. Give them time..
41. Understanding your child's reaction
42. Blissful parenting
43. Explain to your child first
44. Handling hyperactive toddler
45. Providing opportunities or rushing things?
46. Love multiplied
47. Show some love
48. Gentle Parenting Tips
49. Physical needs and emotional well-being
50. How are you doing, as a parent?
51. A Child's Letter
52. What could you teach a child?
53. Teaching your child how to write
54. One thing you could do when your child who is upset, upsets you
55. How do you connect with a child?
56. Let me explore
57. Are you connected to your child?
58. Nurturing Emotions in Child
59. Intuition and Parenting
60. Toddler's tasks
61. Is there any learning?
62. What are instructions for?
63. Hold back, don't push yourself to push your child.
64. Schooling or Unschooling?
65. Overcoming or Living in Fear?
66. Society says, Be tough with your child!
67. What is too-much love?
68. Good, Bad and the Ugly
69. Is improvement self-directed?

Playing is learning

                                (Image Source: dreamstime.com)

Kids love to be busy, kids love to do messy things. kids love playing, kids love learning, kids love experimenting things, kids love imitating, kids love getting dirty.

Remember, exposure and the freedom to experiment are two most important things that a child can be provided. Those who can afford to provide good exposure and are tolerable enough to bear the consequences of freedom given to a child to experiment can be deemed as a valuable asset in the journey of learning of a child.

Why not think of something that combines all that kids love and offer as a play? In our daily life, every activity has a purpose. There will be some reason for doing what we are doing.

In the same way, try creating fun activities for kids that they not only enjoy playing but learn something new in every play.

Remember, it is only that the toddler cannot reciprocate all that she is learning by speaking out but the world's smartest storage device is in that little head of theirs and whatever you speak or teach makes it's way to their brain and stays there. Always keep talking about what the child is doing, what the purpose of any general item lying in the room is and this list of what you can talk to your child goes on. I will write another post on key things to be learnt during our interaction with child sometime soon.

Following is one such list where the child not only enjoys playing but gradually learns how things work in this world. I will keep updating this post with more activities as time goes on.

There will be few activities that the child clings on for reasonably longer time and few that the child gets bored of very easily. Make sure you always keep your child engaged in a joyful manner. Watch out for boredom signals and quickly turn the environment cheerful with quirky talks or funny faces. 

1. Miraculous Magnets
2. Aim it - Throw it
3. Ringa Ringa
4. Coins in Kiddy Bank
5. Bowls and Stands
6. Drop it down the bin
7. Tearing activity
8. The idea of floating
9. Matching the shoe pair
10. Cloth Hanger
11. Making water bubbles
12. Scoop out
13. Writing on a balloon
14. Pass it down the pipe
15. Mess around with paper
16. Matching the shoe pair
17. Hook it up
18. Playing with play dough
19. Touch and Texture Activities
20. Stacking cups
21. Free hand sewing
22. Moving beads
23. Stacking blocks
24. Scoop out - 2 
25. Wall painting
26. Play with wool
27. Play with foam
28. Play with water
29. Play with cotton balls
30. Play with dal seeds
31. Toy-free games to play with 1 yr old
32. Experimenting with dropper
33. Segregating activity
34. Making rainfall
35. Gardening with toddler
36. Stamping with paint
37. Screw - Unscrew
38. In and Out
39. Pushing
40. Move it - Count it
41. Fun observing ants
42. Fun with Shadow
43. Playing with seeds
44. Carrom game with toddler
45. Concept of rolling
46. Dropping seeds in pores
47. Toddler and Physics
48. Toddler and Maths
49. Playing with seeds
50. Train with empty tins
51. Spot On
52. Stacking Spoons
53. Ice Painting
54. Art of Cutting
55. Crawl - Jump - Bend
56. Stick them all
57. Roll the die and clap
58. Depicting rhymes and stories on paper
59. Stamping activity
60. Tracing with paint brush
61. Fun with flour
62. Clipping on Clothes pegs
63. Pricking
64. Colour the shapes
65. Finger painting
66. Numbers - Tracing and Colouring
67. Vegetable Art
68. Filling up water bottle
69. Introducing fractions - Explaining Half
70. Finger Figures
71. Empty foil roll
72. Playing with magnets
73. Dropping Toothpicks
74. Alphabet Stamping
75. Plastic Cover - Mirror Image
76. Explaining Transparence
77. Coloring on Seeds
78. Making Shapes with Rubber Bands
79. Sticking Activity
80. Counting and Reverse Counting
81. Play washing machine
82. Play Elevator
83. Making Shapes - Circle
84. Counting while sticking
85. Making Alphabets and Numbers
86. Revealing figures/stories in parts
87. Race track for cars, balls
88. Pick up the card
89. What's in the bag?
90. Infant Stimulation - Texture cards
91. Paper Stencils - Painting
92. Ice Cubes - Painting
93. Drop it down the cone
94. Paints and Ear Buds
95. X Mas Tree Hand Prints
96. Pouring Water
97. Sponge Painting
98. Sponge and Water
99. Water Balloon
100. Icecream parlour
101. Paint with Talcum Powder
102. Texture Play
103. Sandwich, anyone?
104. Counting and Fractions
105. Understanding Soaking
106. Simple play with stone
107. Containers and Play
108. Play with Ice
109. Paper Mache
110. Hurdle Run
111. Water Paint on Wall
112. Pass it down - 2
113. Hidden Treasures in Ice
114. Peek-a-Boo
115. Basic Arithmetic
116. Pouring
117. Pouring - 2

What do you want to become when you grow up?

What do you want to be when you grow up?

We would have heard this questions at least ten times in our childhood and now worried about the same in the case of our children. Is it right?

What do you want to become?
I do not make any sense of this question. What do I want to become? I am already one!!! I am already a human with certain goals in my mind, body and soul. I do not become something just after growing up like 20 years later in time. I evolve everyday. I become a better person everyday. I aim to be more mindful of my life everyday. So, there is nothing that I suddenly want to become after 20 years of my life.

That is my honest reply(as a kid) to the question.

OK. Let's get back to our children.

So, what do you want your child to be? Do you already have role models who you wish your child must be following and become one like? Do you already worry about how your 5 year old does not show as much interest in maths as you expect her to and worry that she may be shamed in school leading to not taking up Maths in her college? And many more in the list.

What do we want our child to be?

Isn't your child already something? Isn't she already creative? Isn't she already sportive? Isn't she already talented? Aren't newborns already self-learners? Aren't babies already self-motivated? Who destroyed the natural evolution and learning process of a child? Isn't it the environment that one grows up in? Starting from mandating the child to colour the sky and water with only blue colour, leaf with only green and the fruits with only the generally seen colours, everything that causes an interruption in a child's natural learning process becomes the cause for even the decline in the child's natural interest in doing something. The sky is never blue ALL the time. It shows up in different colours, if the same child who was mandated to colour sky blue on paper was shown the real sky at various times of the day would have been a better natural learner. It satisfies both - his learning process from the nature around as well as the close moments that he shares with his guide(parent). Water is actually colourless but looks blue(again not always) when seen from a distance. The colour actually depends on the materials present on the sea/river -bed, the climate around and the observer's vision. We all know leaves are not ALWAYS green. They take up various colours depending on the season of the year. A vegetable like capsicum is not ALWAYS red in colour, we have at least 4 different colours of the same capsicum and if the child comes up with a 5th colour, let him be, who knows, if really the 5th variety would be discovered soon or by the child himself? Only when the child is let free with careful supervision will he be a better natural learner. Do not disturb the natural thought process of a child.

Next, is the role models!!! Parents are the first role models for the child to learn from and be exactly the same. Apart from it, do you wish your child follows another's path or carve out a path for himself? Do you think, you encouraging him to carve out his own path and be role model for his peers will give better satisfaction than forcing upon someone else's path on him? Rest is for your own thinking!

You may notice a 4 year old who is crazy about cars, may imitate a mechanic, same 6 year old becomes crazy about drawing and is an artist now, the same 12 year old starts learning about robots and even make some, 14 year old starts moving towards astronomy. So, interests are always evolving. A child who fairs average in his first grade may start to develop robots when he is 12 year old, but, only if he was encouraged to take up his interest. When parents are only concerned about child's marks in school exams, there does not arise the scope of providing children with time and opportunities to learn, fail and grow in their own interest. Getting marks and gaining praise in school is not the ultimate goal in life. Life is beyond what is actually seen on the physical plane.

Let's tweak the question a bit. What do you want take up as your profession in future?

Profession - A very heavy word for child of any age, or even an adult. Because, we never know what the future will bring us. The professions that exist now have not been there when I was in school. Clearly, asking what profession you would take after 20 years is a dumb question when you do not know what new professions would come up with every new year. So, by the time the present school-going children would be graduated, they would be exposed to many new professions that actually DO NOT exist now. Are the teachers and parents actually preparing the child for an unforeseen future? Are the children being provided time and opportunity to grow by themselves or always forced to run behind grades? We never know the future, may be, one of these children around us would come up with a new profession himself and start to provide employment? For this, the child should first be set free to learn what he wants, the way he wants with good guidance, not mandated to do this and do that in only a specific way.

As for a human, to what he would want to be as life progresses, I can list some :

1) Knowing the self
2) Relation
2) Communication
3) Empathy
4) Positive Lifestyle
5) Knowing, growing and being with nature
8) Meditation
9) Independent
10) Research
11) Study in one's interest
12) Faith

If you look at the above list, all of them, just ALL of them, are developed with a child's every day experience and close family members. And, all of them are more important than aiming for a profession to earn money. There are hundred ways to earn money but only one way to be the unique self.

Let the child be.

Pouring - 2

Materials needed: glasses, bowls, scoop spoon, plate, seeds

As me DD1, DD2 were having some chidwa for snacks, I noticed DD2 pouring the chidwa from her cup to a glass, back to the cup and repeat. This is when I realised I could offer her a similar play. And, the same was done in various types by DD1 and she enjoyed doing the same all over again. She had her own versions of the play, saying she was making lava with the pouring seeds.

Check out the following links for similar pouring activities:

1. Scoop out
2. Scoop out - 2 
3. Play with dal seeds
4. Pouring Water
5. Pouring

Are you raising an obedient child?

Are you aiming to raise an obedient child? Do you wish to raise a child who listens and does exactly what is asked for, by parents/grandparents at home and teachers at school?

What is obedience?

Well, the dictionary says: compliance with an order, request, or law or submission to another's authority.
observance of a monastic rule.

So, basically, obedience is doing what is asked for. No ifs, no buts, Just do what is told. And, what are the reasons that are usually quoted?

• I am elder than you, I know better, do it the way I am saying
• The teacher has ultimate authority, you have to do whatever the teacher says. You should not say 'No'.
• You should never say 'No' to elderly/parents/grandparents
• If you don't listen to what I say, I am not going to give you what you asked me (some bribe).
• If you don't do as I ask you to, never will I listen to you in future. 

A child who always obeys what the others say develops to be obedient with absolutely no power to exercise his/her own thinking in one's own life. 

May be, just one possible reason for child abuse could be that the child lost her power to say 'No'. Because, her 'No' was never acknowledged at home or school, because she lost trust that her 'No' can be heard, because she never knew she could even say 'No' to something?

Why can't we raise children who live on their own thoughts. Why can't children listen to all that the elders say and then, think for themselves what is right and act upon it? 

If the child is always nodding a yes to all that the elders say, how can she be provided with opportunities in life where she has to know what good is, what evil is and choose good over evil? 

The foundation for all this is mostly set in a very early age (0-6 years) where the child encounters tens of situations in everyday life where the child picks something or wishes to do something but is stopped abruptly by the parent. Or even in school, rather than bringing out the thoughts from a child, thought process of the teacher is forced upon the child.

The early years of child development is utmost important because, 95% of the brain is developed in these early years. 

So, how should the situation be dealt with? Empower the child. Provide ample opportunities for her to think upon the situation and make a decision of what she wants to do. Points like the ones listed below are to be kept in mind before making any decision:

• One's thoughts, words, actions do not hurt any other
• One's thoughts, words, actions are pure and united. This is termed  as 'Trikaranasuddhi'

both the above are something that cannot be taught to a child, but, will be followed by a child who constantly watches the parent doing it.

There is nothing that we specifically teach a child. A child learns, very naturally, all that the parents do. If you want to raise better kids, focus on raising your own self to a better version every day and also focus on staying connected to your child emotionally. The ground for your child to bloom is set. 

Where is the BOX?

There's a new colouring book at home. With pictures of the completely coloured and the outline(to be coloured) by its side. Personally, I have never developed any liking towards such books. Because, if the end product is shown to a child and it mandates to be coloured in the same manner as shown, there is no creativity in the activity, we are not welcoming new thoughts from the child. 

I never insisted DD1 to colour the picture as shown, nor, did she colour it the same way as mentioned in any of her colouring books. 

As I put DD2 to sleep and stepped out of the room, I noticed DD1 happily colouring in the book that she just got from her school. I just watched her for some time. She started telling about what she was colouring, saying, there is a tree here and I'm colouring it black , here there is a building and I'm coloring it brown, there's another tree here, I am yet to colour it, I will be colouring it green. 

Me: Oh, so this tree has black leaves? 

DD1: Yes, because those leaves are all getting burnt, they just turned black .

Me: Is it?

DD1: Yes, there was a fire in the forest and the tree got burnt. There was absolutely no air at all. Hence, it got burnt and turned black.

Me: Oh! Fire? What about this tree? Does it have green or black leaves?

DD1: This tree will have green leaves. Because, this did not get burnt. This tree is getting lot of air, hence, it is not burnt. So, I will colour it green. 

For us, the parents, it was just a black and white picture, which had to be coloured the routine way. But, for a child, who is left free to her imagination, who is not bound by rules and instructions, who is not dictated about what has to be done and how, the same black and white picture opens up as a creativity play ground. 

Entire childhood is pressed upon to follow rules and instructions, to do as the teacher/parent says, to learn as told, to not question the existence, and, as a developing teen/adult, the person is expected to think OUT OF THE BOX. Where was this box during the childhood? Who drew the box upon a child's thinking? Is it not the teacher/parent who, in the first place, drew a box around the child's mind as to what she has to think and what/how/when she has to do certain things? Did the child ask for the box? Can a child who is set free, who is not bogged down with rules and instructions draw a box around her mind? NO. 

If you wish your child to think out of the box, then, in the first place, do not draw the box for her/him.

Thinking is an individual experience, learning is an individual experience. Set the child free and see for yourself, the beauty that blossoms as days progress. 

Related articles: Dear Creative Child and What is Creativity

Peek-a-boo

This a play where there is a hidden image and it is revealed in 3-4 steps. I drew images of just animals/characters like mickey, cat etc.

 

Fold a piece of paper step wise. You could make 2-3 folds. Draw the image. Now open the paper completely and show it to your child asking him to guess the character, fold one part and throw some interesting questions like, where are the eyes, where is the face etc? Then fold the second part until the image is fully shown. This would make an interesting play for the toddlers.

Another idea is to draw an image on the inside (as well as outside) of an empty crayon box/match box. Asking your child what surprise was waiting in the box, you could slowly slide open the box to show the image.

Hidden Treasures in Ice

Just make ice with some tiny things included in the ice tray. Once set, empty all the cubes in a bowl and see how happily your child plays with them.

Below pictures are from two different days:

Pass it down - 2

This one  was a very interesting activity that DD1 did a couple of years back. And, it is time for me to redo now, for both DD1 and DD2.

This time, DD2 has suggested ways of how to stick the boxes on wall and at what angles so that the ball drops freely.



Reference link for the one that DD1 did: IS THIS

Water paint on wall

This was something that DD1 did when she was a couple of months into her second year and now it is DD2's turn to do the same.

Materials needed: Mug of water, paint brushes, wall.